Let Go And Move On From Past Hurts
Let go and move on already! That is what I used to hear from family and friends. Easier said than done, letting go and moving on from past hurts can be a daunting task for most.
More frequently than I would like to admit, I caught myself looking back, thinking about Brownie. My three years old chocolate lab that passed in 2016.
He was born with a few rare health issues, and I promised him a long, happy life. Brownie was a fighter, and I was his mommy always beside him fighting the same battle.
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The Pain Of Losing A Loved One
The first day I brought my puppy home, he already had me wrapped around his paw.
I left no stone unturned to keep Brownie alive still, to this day, I carry this guilt that keeps me going back to the events that led to his passing.
Letting go and moving on became extremely hard, with so many questions lingering around.
Brownie was doing so well and had been stable for a while. I was so hopeful, so you can imagine my shock when it all happened. He fought like a champ and didn’t deserve to leave us, LEAVE ME!
His journey came to an end, and I was not prepared for that. It was too definitive. It felt like the world was caving in on me.
My heart was broken in a million pieces. I was paralyzed in pain and sorrow, lost not knowing how to let go and move on from there.
Holding On To The Past
Desperately, we hold onto the past, trying to go back to that special moment and keep it alive, not letting it go. Moving on becomes impossible.
We go over and over in what happened, looking for ways we could have done things differently to change the outcome.
What is past isn’t coming back. The only thing in our control is the present and the future.
What-ifs scenarios won’t do us any good because they are an illusion we create to escape reality. Why keep hurting ourselves like that?
Even if I could find out what exactly happened to Brownie, how does that change the fact he is no longer here?
There is nothing I can do to bring him back. It’s a hard truth I didn’t want to face it.
Make Peace With The Past
Fast forward to the present, I have two dogs, whom I love very much, and my daughter, who is my world.
Instead of digging into the past, I started to be grateful for the years we had together, and the amazing people Brownie brought into my life.
By accepting what cannot be unchanged, I made amendments with the past. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss my boy, just now I’m at peace.
It’s essential to let go of the experience that has caused you pain and suffering to move on to a happier life.
Knowing the certainty of the past is comforting, and that is why so many people cling to it. There are no surprises when you remain on familiar grounds. Change is hard!
Allow Yourself To Feel The Pain
The future is full of possibilities, and one must be brave to leave what feels safe to embrace the unknown.
Acknowledge what is holding you back. Is it a relationship? A friend? A loved one that is no longer around? A family member? A situation?
Feel the pain and grieve if that is the case. Be kind to yourself and give time to heal. But at one point, you need to get over it so you can let go and move on with your life.
Be careful not to turn yourself into a victim. People will sympathize with what you are going through for a certain time. After a while, no one will care as the world keeps spinning.
If you feel trapped in this situation, seek help. Don’t allow this to go on indefinitely. Understand the pain might always be there, but you can still move on and be happy again.
Forgiveness Is Key To Letting Go and Moving On
Forgive people that did you wrong so you can let them go. Most importantly, forgive yourself.
It takes a lot of energy to keep negative thoughts inside towards someone else. It’s draining and counterproductive as it can affect our body and mind.
Letting go and moving on! Isn’t what we all want? Forgiveness is the key to free ourselves from all the pain and hurt, so we can then turn the page and start fresh.
Be Vigilant Of Your Thoughts!
Coming to terms with our past will give us a new perspective on the future.
Think about how far you have come and where you are heading. The rest of your whole life is waiting for you with open arms. Embrace it!
Every day make a conscious choice of what you are going to allow to permeate into your mind. If the negative emotions start coming up, take a deep breath, acknowledge it, rephrase it substituting the negative with something positive and CUT IT OFF!
This is what I sometimes catch myself feeling: I can’t believe Brownie is gone, it’s so unfair. What did I do wrong? I broke my promise to him.
And here is how I replace it with a positive: it was hard to lose him, BUT it brought Chase, a chocolate lab, into our family to join Julia and Molly.
I’m so fortunate to have an amazing daughter and dogs that bring so much enjoyment into my life.
Like magic, the self-pity feeling is gone, changed by gratitude for all I have.
Don’t feed into it. Overanalyzing what happened has never solved anyone’s problems nor cured a broken heart.
Have An Optimistic Approach To Life
Focus on what you are looking forward to, the great things that are yet to come. Don’t let anything that makes you sad or negativity to find a place to stay.
Keep an optimistic attitude and meditate at least a few minutes a day to restore inner peace, relieve stress and assist in redirecting your thoughts. Nothing can bring down a healthy mind.
Do more activities that will bring joy back to your routine. It could be something as simple as listening to music, going for a walk, playing with your dogs, spending time with your kids, a nice long bath.
Do what makes you happy! Check these great self-care ideas and take care of yourself.
Live in the present. Get so busy living your life that there is no time left to relive the past. Think about all the exciting things you want to accomplish and start working towards them.
Happiness is a choice you make. You get the power to decide what it’s going to be. So choose wisely and don’t take anything for granted.
And that is how you let go and move on to bigger and better things!